We caught up with Count Von Shortcut and Bad Habitus in their evil lair, The Castle of Carelessness. They agreed to fit an interview with us into their busy anti-safety schedule thwarting the efforts of SSM's safety superhero Super Carol. We really can’t say that we thank them for their time.

Q: Where are you two from?

Count Von Shortcut: For me, not far from here. In fact, if you cut through our neighbor’s annoying flower patch, it’s just a few yards.

Bad Habitus: I was born in a cigarette factory in the town of Yawn in Slothsberg.

Q: Count Von Shortcut, are you a real count?

Shortcut: Not by birth. One day I just started putting it on my resume. My real name is Russell.

Q: Bad Habitus, how did you get your name?

Habitus: I’m opposed to best practices and personal hygiene.

Q: Why?

Habitus: Both of them require effort. I’m against effort. I would be against effort even more if it didn’t take so much . . . well. . . effort.
 
Q: Count Von Shortcut, that’s an interesting scar on your face. Do you mind if I ask how you got it?

Count: I wanted to shave one morning but my razor was beyond my reach, so I used my monocle instead.

Q: Both of you have launched some pretty nasty schemes against SSM Generic General Hospital – why do you do this?

Shortcut: It’s so easy to take shortcuts and get into bad habits in a hospital. You have a lot of patients – you’re busy. We think it’s a good place to do our work.

Habitus: Causing unsafe practices in the hospital is the reason I wake up every morning and don’t take my shower or brush my teeth. It’s the air I breathe – with bad breath of course.

Q: That’s bad.

Habitus: That’s my first name.

Q: Let’s talk about Super Carol, who opposes you at every turn.

Shortcut: The woman is a menace. I want her to know we will win the struggle for unsafety.

Habitus: It’s only a matter of time and lack of effort.

Q: I see your cat, Slacker, is with us today. Is Slacker in on your evil schemes?

Shortcut: Whenever we are discouraged, we look at Slacker. This doesn’t help, but what do you expect from a cat named Slacker?

Q: Thank you for your time. I hope we were able to delay one of your terrible plots during this interview.

Shortcut: Fortunately, we don’t take much time to prepare what we do.

Habitus: No. That would be a good habit, and it would take . . . well . . . you know. . . effort.